killscene

I'd be lying if I said I never think I'm fat sometimes, or wish something about me was different.  Over a while, I've realized that everyone thinks this way sometimes.  The people you think would be least likely to hate their bodies always have some part that they're not happy with. 

Your idols, your friend with the "perfect body", the hottest girl in school... ALL think this way at times.  And probably think this way even more than you do because they know that people are watching them and they have a figure to uphold. 

Celebrities pay big money to look the way they do.  Whether it be with plastic surgery, or personal trainers who work them super hard for 2-3 hours a day.  They work very hard to look the way they do, and to many "regular" (meaning non-famous) people, it's not possible to spend thousands of dollars on trainers, diets, or surgery. 

Sure, it IS possible to become a size 2 and look perfect all the time, but the sacrifice in my opinion isn't worth it.  Starving yourself to loose pounds, or going under the knife to make yourself into someone you're not is only a temporary fix, and causes so many other problems emotionally.  Think about it:  if you did become a size 2, will you really feel like you've accomplished something?  Who's to say after that you won't want to become a size 0, or change something else about yourself?  Not only that, who are you really doing it for?  Yourself, or the people who look at you so they view you differently?

When I was younger I was the skinniest girl in my class, maybe even in my whole school at that point.  I ate normally, I didn't stave myself at all, yet was called anorexic by other classmates.  I tried to GAIN weight, it just wouldn't work.  I was a size ONE how gross is that?  And I say gross because I did not want to be the tall skinny girl, and looked like a sack of bones.  Even at a size ONE I was unhappy.  A size that girls now would kill to be for some reason.  I went up to a size three, then finally a size five and was STILL called "too skinny".  (My grandpa even called me "skinny" as a nickname.) So I said screw it.  Womanhood came and I gained some more weight and I was happy.

My point here is that no matter what size you are, people will always judge, and skinny girls definitely do not get the praise they hope for.  Look at Victoria Beckham, she was SO skinny and being critized for it constantly.  She probably thought people would think she'd look better as a size zero and she'd be happier, but guess what, once she got there the comments still didn't stop.  

The public can be cruel, but you've got to be strong inside and realize that these people who put themselves through the pain of getting to look a certain way are not perfect, and you should not be expected to look like them at all.   I would much rather be happy about myself than have to worry about making other people happy with my own image.  It's MINE not anyone else's.

Obviously I still have my "fat days" and days I just feel gross like EVERYONE does, but in the end, I'm happy being 5'8" and 120lbs.  After all that work trying to gain it, why go backwards. 

I realized that if you're going to change yourself, do it for YOU not for anyone else. And if anyone ever calls me fat after I worked to gain weight, I might have to slap them.

xo Danakiller